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THE CHEF'S RULES

I. The chef is right.
II. The chef is always right.
III. Even if an underling is right, article I applies.
IV. The chef doesn't eat, he nourishes himself.
V. The chef doesn't drink, he tastes.
VI. The chef doesn't sleep, he rests himself.
VII. The chef is never late, he is detained.
VIII. The chef never quits his service, he is called away.
IX. The chef never reads his newspaper on the job, he studies it.
X. You go into the chef's office with your own ideas,you come out with the chef's ideas.
XI. The chef remains the chef, even in a bathing suit.
XII. The more you criticize the chef, the fewer bonuses you will receive.
XIII. The chef must think for everyone else.



The shortened version:

Rule 1. I am the chef. I am always right.
Rule 2. There aren't any other rules. Rule 1 always applies: man, woman,child or vermin.